How the FUCK can this webpage exist in 2009? http://www.flsb.uscourts.gov/

http://timesunion.com/AspStories/story.asp?storyID=767070

ALBANY -- As he tells it, Randall Hinton is paid $93,803 a year to do nothing.


He spends much of his workday at the State Insurance Fund donning headphones, listening to rock 'n' roll, blues or classical tunes and his superiors are cool with that.

His work agenda involves placing his feet up on his desk, staring out his office window and counting cars on the New York State Thruway. He arrives at 7:30 a.m., leaves at 3:30 p.m., sees no one and talks to no one.

Hinton said he's treated as a second-class employee with fewer resources than even the lowliest Insurance Fund worker. "I have no Internet access, no printer, no laptop, no car. Every day it's a struggle for me to bring in something I haven't read or listened to. I can tell you how many white cars pass on the Thruway . . . I can't take it anymore."

Assume he can take an hour for lunch. That means he can kill seven hours a day on the internet. Even if work won't hook him up, it would be easy to buy a laptop and a wireless network card through Sprint or Verizon. Worst case scenario, he could get an iPhone or Blackberry and use it as a wireless access point. FAIL.

The most recent target of my obsession is Cashcall.

Seriously, does this company have it all or what?

1) Gary Coleman as the spokesman: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JJMS5OrdAcg
2) 99.25% APR. Surprisingly, they explain pretty clearly what this means in practice-- paying back a loan of $2,600 costs over $9,000 over the course of just 3.5 years.
3) A seemingly endless stream of defective people who used Cashcall, then go to the internet to bitch when Cashcall does exactly what it says it would:


http://www.consumeraffairs.com/finance/cashcall.html

Johnny of Catasauqua PA (01/30/09)
needed a loan , they sounded like they can be trusted. was approved and learned that the interest rate was over 95%. ill be paying them double. its crazy..

i cant aford keeping payments of 216.55 each month for 40 months and have just a fraction of my payment applied towards the principal. Can this be legal, i consider it a rip off.. unfair game..

http://www.ripoffreport.com/reports/0/377/RipOff0377346.htm
I have paid about 7,000 dollars for a $2500.00 loan that i was told i would have the cheaper interest. First of all i was forced to sign it even though i did not understand the 98% interest rate before signing and they had also put the money in my account already. The took money out of my checking account and I also paid by money gram on my own after i closed my checking account because of them. Now they are taking me to court for another $2,086.00 on top of what i already paid to them.

Today 9-30-2008- i go to court in Oakland, this is ridiculous i really hope when i bring all my receipts and paperwork the judge sees thru this messy company who is already ripping off people.

I am a victim-winslett
Oakland, California
U.S.A.

http://ripoffreport.com/reports/0/384/RipOff0384477.htm
I borrowed $2600.00. I've paid one year and nine months of payments totaling to $3897.90. My balance is now $2416.14 and only $183.86 went to the principal. I refuse to give them any more money. What should I expect that they will do to me?

Lisa
Durango, Colorado
U.S.A.


... and it goes on.

OMG DAVID SMITH.

The Wolfram & Hart prom was last night. One of the best parts of working at a Texas firm is that heavy alcohol consumption is accepted, perhaps even celebrated. I fully intended to take advantage of this-- the sweetest words in the English language are "top shelf open bar." Still, I told myself, I would take it slow.

I started off the evening at the hotel bar. The guy in the office next to me and his wife were there. We decided to start off the evening with three Irish Car Bombs. Upon ordering them, we discovered that what we received bore no resemblance to what we ordered; asking the bartender, we found out he had no idea how to make them, so he just gave us Jaeger and Red Bull.

Neither my coworker nor his wife drink Jaeger (wimps!). So, obviously, I had to drink all three of them. In about ten minutes.

From there, things went downhill.

Wolfram & Hart, on even years, has a firm-wide prom in Houston. On odd years, there's a firm-wide homecoming. I figure I will generally duck out of these, but felt obligated to attend the first one. I received the following email today:

REMINDER -- If you had a baby in the past year and would like to introduce your bundle of joy to everyone at the pre-Prom meetings, please send us a photo of your new arrival (preferably wearing his or her Wolfram & Hart onesie (if it still fits)) together with his or her full name, date of birth and the names of the proud parents. Photos should be delivered to [name] in AEO by the end of the day tomorrow. Thanks!

I hardly even know where to start. This email has caused my brain to stop functioning.

Three things are getting me:

1) There's going to be babies there.
2) There's such a thing as a Wolfram & Hart onesie.
3) There are still people who use 'bundle of joy' non-ironically.

1) I got my first paycheck in a job I view as the start of a career. I'm salaried, and in for the long-haul.
2) Three different governments helped themselves to 36% of said paycheck.

I have cable TV again.

Sadly, there's nothing on.

The worst part of moving from Texas to New York is having to wait until midnight for new XKCD. I used to get it at 11 PM eastern, which was perfect-- I would LOL and go straight to bed. Now I either have to wait for it in the morning, or stay up later than I like to to enjoy it.

XKCD guy, tear down this wall. Start posting at 11 PM eastern.

Thanks.

Before I moved to New York, I thought how lovely it would be if google maps offered mass transit directions. Instead of figuring out the subway, I could just count on it to tell me, "Go here, step on this platform." Just before I moved, google started doing just that.

Then, I thought how nice it would be if I could access that from my blackberry. I did some research, and found out that I had to update my mobile google maps app, and I could do just that. I was in the process of figuring out how to do that, when the app spontaneously asked me if I wanted to update.

THEN, I was thinking how nice it would be if I could plot a trip for a future date. I loaded a page on google about the mass transit directions, and a video started playing telling me how to do that.

Is google... watching me?

Yet more check-clearing shenanigans: In anticipation of my move, I sold my car to CarMax, got more than I was expecting, and could really use the money to pay off some credit card debt that I acquired from the time between graduating law school and now. I was paid in a 'bank draft', which I'm told takes seven to ten business days to clear. The guy at Chase confirmed it could be that long.

I will someday find out exactly where it is that banks come across these slow electrons.

Yesterday, Wolfram & Hart cut me a check for ten thousand. It was a corporate check written from a Chase account. I deposited into my Chase account, under the theory that Chase could, with minimal difficulty, make sure a check from another Chase account was legit.

Sure enough, my available balance was $9,900 yesterday. Not all of it, but enough of it so that I was fine. I also had a $4,000 check from my Wells Fargo checking account pending (and, of course, while it's pending at Chase it shows as gone at Wells Fargo). Based on that balance, I scheduled a lease signing.

Today, my account had an available balance of $200, and I haven't spent any money. I called, and there's a hold on my account-- a "24 hour hold" or somesuch, but nobody knows for sure when I'll actually have my money. I could have drawn the cashier's checks I need yesterday... but today I can't, even though nothing has changed. The chase guy's only recommendation was to use my credit cards to do cash advances. Lovely.

In the final analysis, it's fairly trivial-- the absolute worst case is that I incur $300 or so in finance charges. But it's extremely frustrating.

The kicker: When I called the Deposit Hold number at Chase (yes, they have one), I asked the obvious question: How long until this is resolved? When the customer is the one asking, you perhaps should not preface your answer with, "Well, if the check is legitimate...".

UPDATE: I went down to a branch and called them out on the $4,000 being gone from my Wells Fargo account. They made that amount available immediately. Funny how that works.

Found this on Amazon, loved the sense of humor. Cut for length

http://www.amazon.com/review/RUSJ6KX7SBC11/ref=cm_cr_rdp_perm

( Read more... )

As part of my seeming never-ending quest to move to New York and start my new job at Wolfram & Hart*, I got in touch with some corporate movers today. Thankfully, I don't have to worry about packing; they'll show up and take care of everything and Wolfram & Hart will get the bill. Oddly enough, the only thing they don't do is... unplug the electronics. That I'm on my own for.

So, I can more than count on them to disassemble my bed, transport it, and reassemble it on the other end. Pulling a plug out of the wall, though, is a bridge too far.

*Not really the firm name, but let's run with it.

Apparently, being an adult means having to designate a beneficiary for your life insurance policy. I should probably draw up a will at some point too. Somebody remind me why I have to be an adult, again.

I had the address for the Men's Wearhouse closest to my house. I had never been there, but it was right along the interstate. I drove past where I thought it should be twice, and couldn't find it. I called Google 411, got the number, and received some directions. I did find it. It was 500 feet south and 50 feet west from the Circuit City I routinely shop at.

*head desk*.

I have a job interview on September 2nd. It's in New York, and I'm still in Austin. It's also a second interview, so I've already talked to most of the lawyers in the department; they only have me slated to talk to two people. My schedule is therefore the following (all times Eastern):

6:00 AM-- Wake up, get in my suit.
6:30 AM-- Get to the airport (earlier than I think I need to, because I obviously can't miss this plane)
7:00 AM-- Plane takes off.
11:47 AM (now on EST)-- Plane lands
1:00 PM-- Arrive in Manhattan. Kill two and a half hours.
4:00 PM-- Interview.
5:00 PM-6:00 PM-- Finish interviewing.
6:00 PM-- Get on a cab to JFK
6:30 PM-- Arrive at JFK and check in for flight home.
8:00 PM-- Flight takes off.
12:15 AM-- Land.
1:00 AM-- Get home and DIE.

This also means I'll be flying about 50 miles for every minute of interview. It's glorious.

Thankfully, the firm is paying for the travel.

... about filling out paperwork consenting to the Department of Justice running a background check on me, so that I can partake in a temporary stint at one of its Agencies. That's, like, so adult. At some point, these shocks have to stop coming-- I have a graduate degree, have taken the bar exam, and eventually have to stop thinking of myself as not-quite-an-adult. For some reason, though, this hit me harder than either one of those. Quite possibly because the FBI is involved.

... and my life has been swallowed by a Japanase game. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ikaruga

Remember those old games where you have one ship and have to avoid a screen full of enemy fire? Ikaruga is like that, except it hates you and wants you to suffer. It even has some awesome garbled English, thus showing that game companies still don't care enough to hire one guy who is fluent in the language.

E.g., Chapter 02 - Trial
"The stronger will you have, the more your face various trials. Although you can choose to escape, "Trial" has the message for you to conquer yourself."

1) There are no atheists in the back of a New York City taxi.
2) As of yesterday, I'm closer to 30 than I am to 20. Every second, 30 is closer and 20 is farther. How the fuck did that happen?